I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
