Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
