what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
