Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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