There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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