We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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