Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
