im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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