I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
