wanna go halves on a baby?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
