'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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