I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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