Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
