Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize