I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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