I need to stop coming to work sober
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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