you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
