the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
