Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
