If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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