i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
