lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
