cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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