dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
