rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
