Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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