Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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