Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
