well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
