I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
