Who wears a wallet chain?!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
