Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
