I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
