Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
