idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
