Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
