so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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