Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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