CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
