If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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