Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize