last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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