if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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