the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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