Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
