Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
