Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
