two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
