Do you still have your period?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
