mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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