I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So many bounce houses so little time
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
