and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize