gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there's paper in my vomit.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
