Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
