There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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