i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
