Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
