I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize