her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
