do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
In America we eat man semen.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
