She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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