sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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